


The Festianes

by AliciaSinCiudad



Series: Rebuilding [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: (Space) Spanish with (Space) English Translation, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, CW: mentions of racism and homophobia, M/M, Mental health is a journey, Now with Chapter Two as a Monolingual (Space) English Version, TW: mentions of past suicidal plans (not followed through), TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts - past and present, The New City of Jedha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-25 07:31:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliciaSinCiudad/pseuds/AliciaSinCiudad
Summary: Bodhi meets a family from Cassian's home planet, and is eager to introduce him to them.Note: Another writer pointed out some problematic implications in my story, and I have edited it to address them. See notes for more details.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing monkiimax and Dasakuryo for beta reading! Any errors still there for the native speakers are my own damned fault. I have left Bodhi’s errors in, both to demonstrate to the reader that he’s not a native speaker, and to explain why the family he meets sometimes misunderstands him. Some of his errors are intentional, but I’ll admit that some of them are not. Well, who better to write an imperfect Festian speaker than an imperfect speaker of Spanish? (:
> 
> I have also changed the dialogue a little at the end. I apologize for any problematic implications in the original version (more on that in the end-notes, to avoid spoilers), and I deeply appreciate Dasakuryo for pointing them out for me.
> 
> If/when anyone still finds something problematic with this or any other story, I apologize for causing harm. If you feel comfortable telling me, I will appreciate it and do my best to change it.
> 
> Sorry-not-sorry for the extensive translation footnotes. There is an all-English version as a chapter two.

They’d been on Jedha for less than a week, but already, it seemed like Cassian had lived there forever. He woke early and walked to the Temple, spending hours doing whatever needed to be done: building, fixing, cleaning, hauling. The more physically demanding the task, the better. He returned to the inn at night too exhausted to talk.

It was obvious that Cassian had needed something to consume him, to sustain him. It just seemed a little unfair that he had adjusted so quickly to what was technically Bodhi’s home. Bodhi had come back to Jedha half-decided to die, and Cassian had been more than half-decided. But it had been Cassian who had made the decision to give things another go, and Bodhi was still reeling from the about-face. After years without contact, they had been together again for less than two months, and a good part of that had been spent trying to prevent Cassian from killing himself. And now…

Bodhi was glad Cassian had found something that gave him the will to live – that could not be understated. But he also found himself completely without purpose. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole not-dying thing. Or about the whole Cassian thing. After all, Cassian had been the one to push Bodhi, already fragile, to the brink in the first place.

Now was not the time to go rocking the boat, though. Things were pretty touch-and-go, and he got the feeling that if Cassian stopped moving for anything other than sleep, he would start to fall apart again. So Bodhi mostly tried to stay out of his way. Rameen, a kind older man he’d met in the Great Market, had shown him a center for veterans and refugees, where he could get help finding a new home, a therapist, and a job. The last of which was rather necessary for the first two. They’d come to Jedha planning to die there, so Bodhi hadn’t exactly brought a lot of money with them, and what he had brought was starting to run out. The inn was not free, and Cassian’s volunteering at the New Temple did not pay. But Bodhi was not yet ready for a job. At least Cassian got free meals at the Temple, and Bodhi could eat there too, if he wanted. They should be good for another week, at least. Bodhi was sure he’d figure something out before then.

Cassian was a former spy, so it was not surprising that he managed to leave every morning without waking Bodhi. Surely Cassian had no idea that it bothered him. How could he, if Bodhi never said anything? Not that Cassian ever asked. Not that there was ever any opportunity to ask. Leaving before Bodhi woke, returning exhausted and ready to fall into bed, practically the only time they saw each other awake was if Bodhi visited Cassian at the Temple and managed to pull him away to eat something, or if one of them woke the other with a nightmare.

Cassian was still recovering, Bodhi reminded himself. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi had packed everything and moved here without a plan or a friend other than Cassian himself. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi couldn’t join the effort to rebuild the Temple, that Bodhi got annoyed with everyone’s naïve-seeming faith and hope. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi was too depressed to get himself a job, and too broke to get a therapist. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that the days stretched endlessly for Bodhi, that Bodhi had far too much time on his hands, and that Bodhi simultaneously felt that he had too many options and that he had nowhere to go.

Nothing was Cassian’s fault. But that didn’t stop Bodhi from resenting him.

Bodhi was in the inn’s dining room, filling a tray for breakfast – alone, as usual – when a conversation caught his attention. It took Bodhi a moment to realize he was hearing Festian. He wasn’t used to hearing anyone other than Cassian speak it, and it sounded slightly different than the way Cassian spoke.

Bodhi knew that a language he didn’t even speak perfectly wasn’t the strongest reason to approach a group of strangers, but he was tired of being so alone. He localized the conversation to a group of humans, two adults and two children.

“Perdona, ¿son festianes?”[1]

The taller of the adults looked up, surprised. “Sí, somos festianos. ¿Y tú de dónde eres?”

“Soy de aquí. Pero pasé mucho tiempo fuera de Jedha, y hace menos de dos semanas que he regresado.”

“¿Has vivido en Fest?”

“No. Nunca he ido.”

“Entonces, ¿cómo es que aprendiste a hablar festiano?”

“Mi pareja es de Fest, y me enseñó. Yo le enseñé yedán, también.”

“Qué bien.” The human smiled. “¿Y dónde está tu pareja?”

“Está en el Templo. Trabajando.” Bodhi had never spoken Festian with anyone other than Cassian. He suddenly became aware of his strong accent, his imperfect grasp of the grammar, and his lacking vocabulary. He made as though to leave.

“Por favor, siéntate con nosotros.” The adult smiled warmly, and Bodhi gratefully took a seat next to him.

It turned out that the group was a family, two parents and two children. The taller of the adults was named Fernando and the shorter was Margarita, and the two children were Alejandra and Lucía. Fernando explained that they were religious, practicing a religion Bodhi hadn’t heard of. He said that the history of different religions fascinated them. This was what had brought them to Jedha: they wanted to visit the home of so much Jedi history, and the center of pilgrimage for so many different peoples.

Bodhi offered to give them a tour of the city, even though he had barely explored it himself. He hadn’t left the inn for days, afraid he would have another flashback and wouldn’t be able to find his way back. Traveling with the family though, Bodhi felt secure. Not only was there the safety of companions, but Bodhi found that the challenge of speaking Festian with a group, instead of only one person, occupied just enough of his mind that he could ignore the strange feeling he often felt in the New City: at home but not at home, adrift with the illusion of anchoring, and deeply, heart-breakingly lost.

Of course, the family wanted to see the New Temple, but Bodhi decided to build up to it. First, he brought them to memorial sites for the Old City and for those lost in the Great War. Then he brought them to the Great Market, making sure to pass by Rameen’s stall, and was pleased when Fernando bought something there for each member of the family.

After they left the Great Market, Bodhi brought them towards the New Temple. They passed a tea shop just outside it, and Bodhi paused. He thought of the tea seller by the Old Temple. The one his sister had loved. Had married. They had never had time to have children – Orson Krennic had taken care of that. Bodhi found himself with tears in his eyes, telling this family of those he had lost. The familiar smell of tea wafted out from the shop, teasing him. The tea was back, but his family would never return.

The Festian family made a circle with Bodhi and said a prayer for the ones he had lost. Although he could not share their faith, he felt touched, almost soothed, by their prayer. This was not the naïve-seeming faith of people repeating that everything would be alright, that everything was _already_ alright. They were sharing in his grief with him, and offering him a comfort that was just beyond his grasp. He was grateful that they offered this comfort, even if he could not reach it.

Finally, Bodhi took them inside the Temple. It was busy both with construction and prayer. Bodhi showed the family the little altars scattered within the Temple, and prayer corners that people of all species were praying in. Then he spotted Cassian leaning against a wall, speaking with Franchesca. Bodhi felt simultaneously relieved and jealous. Relieved that Cassian had someone else to speak with, that he no longer relied so strongly on Bodhi to keep him going. Jealous that Franchesca seemed to be able to do for Cassian what Bodhi had not been able to do, that Cassian trusted her more than he did Bodhi, that she certainly saw more of Cassian than Bodhi did. But now was not the time for jealousy. Bodhi would surprise Cassian with this family from Fest, this piece of his history. Bodhi would be the one to bring a smile to Cassian’s face.

“Perdona, veo a mi pareja,” Bodhi told them. [2] “Espérenme por favor. Voy a llevarle aquí.”

“Traerla,” Lucía corrected quietly, and her older sibling shushed her. But Bodhi was already walking away.

Franchesca noticed Bodhi before Cassian did, and she gave him a warm hug. Cassian hugged Bodhi too, but Bodhi found himself pulling away before Cassian could give him the accompanying kisses. Who was Cassian to use the traditional Jedhan greeting, rather than just kissing him on the lips like a normal boyfriend? Bodhi swallowed his frustration. He was happy to see Cassian, he reminded himself. He loved Cassian. He was going to make Cassian happy.

“Come here,” he said in Standard, unconsciously trying to shut Franchesca out, although she surely had picked up the language in all those years of occupation. “I want to introduce you to someone.”

Standard was a funny language. The same word, “you,” could be used for formal or informal relationships, for singular or plural. Cassian took Franchesca’s hand, leading her to follow Bodhi. Of course he assumed Bodhi was referring to the both of them. Why wouldn’t he assume so?

“Mi pareja,” Bodhi started, and immediately Margarita went to hug Franchesca.

“Un placer,” the Festiana said. “Me llamo Margarita. ¿Y tú?”

“I’m Franchesca,” Franchesca replied in Standard. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Festian. But Bodhi’s partner, Cassian, _he_ is a native of Fest.”

Cassian stepped forward, but Margarita stepped back as though on instinct. She and Fernando looked at each other, and something Bodhi couldn’t read passed between them. The children’s eyes grew wide.

“Hijas, vamos a ver qué hay al otro lado del Templo,”[3]

Margarita told them. And suddenly, the four of them walked away before they’d even greeted Cassian.

Bodhi stared at them uncomprehendingly. He’d been talking with them all morning, had shown them all around the New City, and suddenly, they had just turned around and left him. Had he done something wrong? Had Franchesca?

“What – what just happened?” Bodhi asked, as soon as he found his voice.

Franchesca shook her head. “I have no idea. Where did you meet this family?”

“I met them at the inn this morning. I had no one to eat with, and I heard them speaking Festian. I thought… I thought it would be nice to eat breakfast with someone else, for once.” Bodhi avoided Cassian’s eyes, knowing his anger was coming out in ways he couldn’t quite control. “Anyway, we walked around the New City all morning. They seemed eager to meet you, a fellow Festiana.”

“Festiano,” Cassian corrected, then bit his lip. “Sorry,” he murmured.

Bodhi raised his eyebrows. “I _called_ you a Festiano, and they corrected me. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve spoken your language, and you’re starting to make mistakes.”

Cassian looked like he was going to argue, but Franchesca raised her eyebrows, and Cassian relaxed his face. “Maybe it’s a different dialect,” he conceded. “There are a lot of different dialects. Gael used to just say Festiane for everyone, regardless of gender.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway. You’ve. You’ve been alone? A lot?”

“What do you think, Cassian?” Bodhi struggled to keep his voice even. “You’re gone before I wake up, and you fall asleep practically as soon as you get home. Who do you think I talk to all day?”

“Rameen?” Cassian guessed. “People at the, the Center, what was it called again?”

“I haven’t left the inn since we went to the market together. Ever since I had that flashback, I’m afraid to go out alone.”

“I didn’t know,” Cassian whispered, looking at the floor.

“You didn’t ask,” Bodhi muttered. He sighed. “And I didn’t tell you. You’re just so tired when you get home, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You could have told me during the day. I would have taken a break…” Cassian paused. “But you couldn’t come here to tell me. Of course. I wondered why you didn’t take meals here anymore. I should have asked.” He offered Bodhi an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise I will. Tell me what you need, I’ll do anything for you.”

Bodhi shrugged. “It’s fine,” he lied. Cassian embraced him, and Bodhi endured it as long as he could. “Really, it’s fine,” he repeated, stepping out of Cassian’s hold. “I just want to know what happened with that family. Why they just left all of a sudden. Did I do something really offensive?”

“I don’t think so. I have to admit, it _has_ been a long time since I’ve been back to Fest. I left when I was still a child, and my only contact with the culture was through Gael. But one person is not the same as being immersed in your culture, I’m sure there are things we both forgot.” Cassian squeezed Bodhi’s shoulder. “I’ll go ask them. I’ll explain to them you didn’t know you were doing something wrong. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Bodhi watched as Cassian approached Margarita and her family. He saw Margarita herd the two children away, saw Fernando say something and then follow his family to another part of the Temple. Cassian returned, his face hardened with anger.

“He said we should be ashamed,” he told Bodhi when he was close enough to be heard. “That we were sick. I – I think I know what he means. And it’s terrible.”

“What?” Bodhi asked.

Cassian avoided Bodhi’s eyes, as though reluctant to even tell him. “There are… there are people who think… you should be with someone who… looks like you.”

Bodhi raised his eyebrows.

“Who… has the same color skin. It’s stupid.”

“You mean because I’m darker than you?” Bodhi asked. “That’s not exactly a new concept to me. But I thought it was the Empire that invented that idiocy.”

“I guess even on Fest, some people chose to buy into it.” Cassian made his face blank, but Bodhi recognized the suppressed anger beneath his mask of neutrality. “I thought my people were better than that. I’m going back to talk with them. To convince them.” But Franchesca put a hand on his shoulder, and he didn’t move.

Bodhi knew he shouldn’t be jealous of her influence on him. Franchesca was helping Cassian, and anyone who helped Cassian was a friend of Bodhi’s. He just shook his head. “It doesn’t add up, though. They didn’t seem upset when they thought Franchesca was my partner, and I’m much lighter-skinned than she is.”

Cassian shrugged. “Maybe they just hadn’t had time to react yet.” He lay a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder, and Bodhi let him. “Forget them. They’re foolish, and it’s a lot of nonsense.”

“Sure,” Bodhi said, but he wasn’t satisfied. He noticed the older child, almost a woman really, had started drifting away from her family. Well, if Margarita and Fernando weren’t going to be straight with him, maybe Alejandra would be. He felt Cassian’s hand slip off him as he walked up to Alejandra, and asked why her family had left so suddenly.

“Lo que hacen ustedes no es… no es correcto,” she said, avoiding Bodhi’s eyes. “Es un pecado.”[4]

“¿Qué quiere decir ‘pecado’?” Bodhi asked.

“Un pecado es… es algo incorrecto. Algo que no debes de hacer.”

“¿Por qué no?”

“Porque no es natural.”

“¿Cómo que no natural? ¿Es por los colores?”

“¿Los colores? ¿De qué hablas?” Alejandra seemed genuinely confused.

“¿No tiene que ver con el color de piel? ¿Entonces qué es el problema?” It was Bodhi’s turn to be confused.

“Los dos son hombres,” she said. “No es natural.”

“¿Por qué? En tu familia hay dos adultos.” He paused. “¿Es que no deberíamos ser dos humanos?”

Alejandra shuddered. “Claro que deberían ser dos humanos. Pero no deberían ser dos _hombres_. Deberían ser un hombre y una mujer.”

“¿Por qué?”

“Porque así es natural. Dos hombres no pueden tener hijos.”

“Muchas personas no pueden tener hijos. Los viejos por ejemplo. ¿Es un pecado ser viejo?”

“No… no es así…” Alejandra glanced at her family, who was looking at the two of them. She bit her lip, and she avoided Bodhi’s eyes as she continued. “Ustedes… no es natural. Lo siento. Quizás es una enfermedad. Rezaré por ustedes. Pero no deberían estar juntos.”

Bodhi felt his stomach clenching. Cassian was far from perfect, Bodhi would be the first to admit it. But who were they to tell him who he should love, especially using such a strange and hateful metric? He marched up to Margarita and Fernando, his eyes aglow with intensity.

“¿Cómo se atreven venir aquí con ese odio?”[5] he whispered intensely. “¿Ese prejuicio? ¿Ese veneno?” The family began to walk away, but Bodhi followed them, his voice rising. “¿Saben que hemos sufrido aquí? ¿Qué hemos perdido? Aquí estamos en tierra sagrada, _debajo de_ tierra sagrada, debajo de la Cuidad que fue destruida por el odio. Yo perdí a _todos_. A toda mi familia. A mis amigos, a mis compañeros, a los desconocidos en las calles. A todos. Cada uno, de los pocos que hemos sobrevivido, ha perdido a todos. Y construimos de nuevo. Sobre los escombros de lo que fue destruido, construimos de nuevo lo sagrado. ¿Y ustedes atrevan venir aquí y contaminar nuestro Templo con este veneno? Váyanse. No hay lugar para el odio aquí. Váyanse, y nunca regresen.”

“Lo siento,” Alejandra whispered, but her parents pulled her and her sibling away, out of the Temple, out of Bodhi’s sight.

Bodhi was shaking. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to find Franchesca smiling down at him. Smiling? She couldn’t have understood what he’d said, but she must have heard his angry tone, and seen that they had left because of him. What could she possibly approve of?

“You defended something sacred, didn’t you?” she asked him. He nodded.

“He did.” Bodhi turned, and saw Cassian standing not far behind them, admiration clear on his face. “He defended this Temple. And he defended love.” Cassian took a step towards Bodhi, looking him in the eyes. “Nunca dejas de asombrarme, Bodhi,” he said in Festian. “Defensor de la Fe.”[6]

“I don’t believe,” Bodhi replied irritably. “I just don’t think they need to come into my home and tell me who to love.”

“So you _do_ still love me?” Cassian asked, his eyes narrowed as though he was determining the reliability of this information.

“If nothing else, I love you just to spite that hateful family.” Cassian huffed a laugh, but his face did not relax. Bodhi closed the gap between them and put a hand on Cassian’s arm. “Yes, I still love you. But you need to stop leaving me behind. You’re not the only one who’s hurting, you know.”

“I know,” Cassian said softly.

Bodhi sighed. “I just wanted to make you happy. I wanted to show you someone from your planet, like a piece of home.”

“That’s not the home I remember,” Cassian said with a frown. “I’ve never even heard of that prejudice before. It was never a problem for my aunts, or for Gael and me.”

“So it’s not a Festian thing?” Bodhi asked.

“No,” Cassian said emphatically. “I’ll show you. We’ll visit.”

“Sounds lovely, if you can find us some free flights. Your job doesn’t pay, Cassian. And I… I haven’t found a job yet.” He looked away. “I haven’t exactly been looking,” he admitted.

“We’ll figure something out,” Cassian said with determination. “If things aren’t working here, we can go back to Dantooine, with Jyn and Baze and Chirrut. Or somewhere else entirely.” Bodhi looked skeptical, and Cassian continued on, beginning to sound almost desperate. “Maybe… is there money for just one flight? Or I could borrow credits from someone, and work to pay them back.”

“One flight?”

“Maybe… maybe you’re better off without me.”

“Cassian, the whole problem has been how much you shut me out. I need you _with_ me, not shoving me away. Anyway, I don’t think things would be that much better somewhere else. It’s not the place that makes things hard. It’s just that life is hard, and sometimes I still want to…” He fell silent. Cassian closed his eyes.

“I did this to you, didn’t I?”

“No offence, Cassian, but the galaxy doesn’t revolve around you. You’re not the only one who suffered in the war, who suffered _before_ the war. Maybe hearing you talk so much about suicide didn’t help, but it’s not like I never thought about it before.”

“You should definitely be talking to someone.”

“I’m talking to you now. Or would you rather not listen?”

“I’ll listen, Bodhi. I’m here for you. But – _and,_ you need more than just me. And I’ll help you find it, I swear I will.” He kissed Bodhi on the forehead, and this time, Bodhi did not pull away. “Eres mi heroe, Bodhi Rook. Defensor del Amor, aunque no me lo merezca.”[7]

 

 

 

 

FOOTNOTES

 

[1]  “Pardon, are you Festianes?”

The taller of the adults looked up, surprised. “Yes, we are Festianos. And where are you from?” (Notice that he subtly corrects Bodhi's gender marker, changing a non-standard gender-neutral _e_ for a standard _o_.)

“I'm from here. But I've spent a lot of time away from Jedha, and it's less than two weeks since I returned.”

“Have you lived on Fest?”

“No. I've never gone.”

“Then how did you learn to speak Festian?”

“My partner is from Fest, and they taught me. I taught them Jedhan, too.” (Here, Bodhi uses a non-standard gender-neutral pronoun, like the singular "they" in English, instead of "he" or "she".)

“Very good.” The human smiled. “And where is your partner?”

“In the Temple. Working.” Bodhi had never spoken Festian with anyone other than Cassian. He suddenly became aware of his strong accent, his imperfect grasp of the grammar, and his lacking vocabulary. He made as though to leave.

“Please, sit with us.” The adult smiled warmly, and Bodhi gratefully took a seat next to him.

 

[2] “Pardon, I see my partner,” Bodhi told them. “Please wait for me. I’ll take them here.”

“Bring,” Lucía corrected quietly, and her older sibling shushed her. But Bodhi was already walking away.

 

[3] “Girls, let’s go see what’s on the other side of the Temple,”

 

[4] “What you two do, it isn't… it isn't right,” she said, avoiding Bodhi’s eyes. “It's a sin (pecado).”

“What does ‘pecado’ mean?” Bodhi asked.

“A sin is… it's something incorrect. Something you shouldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Because it isn't natural.”

“What do you mean, not natural? Is it because of the colors?”

“The colors? What are you talking about?” Alejandra seemed genuinely confused.

“It's not about skin color? So what is the problem?” It was Bodhi’s turn to be confused.

“You're both men,” she said. “It isn't natural.”

“Why? In your family there are two adults.” He paused. “Is it that we shouldn't be two humans?”

Alejandra shuddered. “Of course you should both be humans. But you shouldn't both be  _men_. You should be a man and a woman.”

“Why?”

“Because that is what's natural. Two men can't have children.”

“Many people can't have children. Old people, for example. Is it a sin to be old?”

“No… it's not like that…” Alejandra glanced at her family, who was looking at the two of them. She bit her lip, and she avoided Bodhi’s eyes as she continued. “You two… it isn't natural. I'm sorry. Maybe it's an illness. I will pray for you. But you shouldn't be together.”

 

 

[5] “How dare you come here with this hate?" he whispered intensely. “This prejudice? This poison?” The family began to walk away, but Bodhi followed them, his voice rising. “Do you know what we have suffered here? What we have lost? We are here on sacred ground,  _beneath_  sacred ground, beneath the City that was destroyed by hate. I lost  _everyone_. My whole family. My friends, my classmates, strangers in the streets. Everyone. Each person, of us few who survived, has lost everyone. And we rebuild. On the ruins of what was destroyed, we rebuild the sacred. And you dare come here and contaminate our Temple with this poison? Leave. There is no place for hate here. Leave, and never return.”

“I'm sorry,” Alejandra whispered, but her parents pulled her and her sibling away, out of the Temple, out of Bodhi’s sight.

 

 

[6] “You never cease to amaze me, Bodhi,” he said in Festian. “Defender of the Faith.

 

[7] “You're my hero, Bodhi Rook. Defender of Love, even when I don't deserve it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for any unintentional implication in the earlier version all LatinX people are homophobic. I meant the family to represent a small group of bigots, and I thoughtlessly did not consider the implications of having them also be the only representation of LatinXs other than Cassian in this fic. I am very sorry for the harm I caused, and I hope that the changes have made it clear that their bigotry has nothing to do with being LatinX. I also hope it is clear from Cassian, Franchesca, and other religious characters in this fic and in the Star Wars universe, that I am not implying their bigotry has anything to do with being religious. I am basing them more on fake-religious people, who claim to be following the dictates of their religion, but in fact are going against their religion’s very essence with their hatefulness.
> 
> I like to believe that meeting Bodhi has helped Alejandra reconsider the prejudice she has been raised with, and that she and Lucía are able to break out of it, possibly bringing their parents along with them.


	2. The English-Only Version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine pointed out that people reading on their phones would have a hard time going back and forth between the text and the footnotes, so this is just the same thing but without any (Space) Spanish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing monkiimax and Dasakuryo for beta reading! Any errors still there for the native speakers are my own damned fault. I have left Bodhi’s errors in, both to demonstrate to the reader that he’s not a native speaker, and to explain why the family he meets sometimes misunderstands him. Some of his errors are intentional, but I’ll admit that some of them are not. Well, who better to write an imperfect Festian speaker than an imperfect speaker of Spanish? (:
> 
> I have also changed the dialogue a little at the end. I apologize for any problematic implications in the original version (more on that in the end-notes, to avoid spoilers), and I deeply appreciate Dasakuryo for pointing them out for me.
> 
> If/when anyone still finds something problematic with this or any other story, I apologize for causing harm. If you feel comfortable telling me, I will appreciate it and do my best to change it.

They’d been on Jedha for less than a week, but already, it seemed like Cassian had lived there forever. He woke early and walked to the Temple, spending hours doing whatever needed to be done: building, fixing, cleaning, hauling. The more physically demanding the task, the better. He returned to the inn at night too exhausted to talk.

It was obvious that Cassian had needed something to consume him, to sustain him. It just seemed a little unfair that he had adjusted so quickly to what was technically Bodhi’s home. Bodhi had come back to Jedha half-decided to die, and Cassian had been more than half-decided. But it had been Cassian who had made the decision to give things another go, and Bodhi was still reeling from the about-face. After years without contact, they had been together again for less than two months, and a good part of that had been spent trying to prevent Cassian from killing himself. And now…

Bodhi was glad Cassian had found something that gave him the will to live – that could not be understated. But he also found himself completely without purpose. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole not-dying thing. Or about the whole Cassian thing. After all, Cassian had been the one to push Bodhi, already fragile, to the brink in the first place.

Now was not the time to go rocking the boat, though. Things were pretty touch-and-go, and he got the feeling that if Cassian stopped moving for anything other than sleep, he would start to fall apart again. So Bodhi mostly tried to stay out of his way. Rameen, a kind older man he’d met in the Great Market, had shown him a center for veterans and refugees, where he could get help finding a new home, a therapist, and a job. The last of which was rather necessary for the first two. They’d come to Jedha planning to die there, so Bodhi hadn’t exactly brought a lot of money with them, and what he had brought was starting to run out. The inn was not free, and Cassian’s volunteering at the New Temple did not pay. But Bodhi was not yet ready for a job. At least Cassian got free meals at the Temple, and Bodhi could eat there too, if he wanted. They should be good for another week, at least. Bodhi was sure he’d figure something out before then.

Cassian was a former spy, so it was not surprising that he managed to leave every morning without waking Bodhi. Surely Cassian had no idea that it bothered him. How could he, if Bodhi never said anything? Not that Cassian ever asked. Not that there was ever any opportunity to ask. Leaving before Bodhi woke, returning exhausted and ready to fall into bed, practically the only time they saw each other awake was if Bodhi visited Cassian at the Temple and managed to pull him away to eat something, or if one of them woke the other with a nightmare.

Cassian was still recovering, Bodhi reminded himself. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi had packed everything and moved here without a plan or a friend other than Cassian himself. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi couldn’t join the effort to rebuild the Temple, that Bodhi got annoyed with everyone’s naïve-seeming faith and hope. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that Bodhi was too depressed to get himself a job, and too broke to get a therapist. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that the days stretched endlessly for Bodhi, that Bodhi had far too much time on his hands, and that Bodhi simultaneously felt that he had too many options and that he had nowhere to go.

Nothing was Cassian’s fault. But that didn’t stop Bodhi from resenting him.

Bodhi was in the inn’s dining room, filling a tray for breakfast – alone, as usual – when a conversation caught his attention. It took Bodhi a moment to realize he was hearing Festian. He wasn’t used to hearing anyone other than Cassian speak it, and it sounded slightly different than the way Cassian spoke.

Bodhi knew that a language he didn’t even speak perfectly wasn’t the strongest reason to approach a group of strangers, but he was tired of being so alone. He localized the conversation to a group of humans, two adults and two children.

“Pardon, are you Festianes?” he asked in Festian.

The taller of the adults looked up, surprised. “Yes, we are Festianos," he replied in kind. "And where are you from?”

“I'm from here. But I've spent a lot of time away from Jedha, and it's less than two weeks since I returned.”

“Have you lived on Fest?”

“No. I've never gone.”

“Then how did you learn to speak Festian?”

“My partner is from Fest, and they taught me. I taught them Jedhan, too.”

“Very good.” The human smiled. “And where is your partner?”

“In the Temple. Working.” Bodhi had never spoken Festian with anyone other than Cassian. He suddenly became aware of his strong accent, his imperfect grasp of the grammar, and his lacking vocabulary. He made as though to leave.

“Please, sit with us.” The adult smiled warmly, and Bodhi gratefully took a seat next to him.

It turned out that the group was a family, two parents and two children. The taller of the adults was named Fernando and the shorter was Margarita, and the two children were Alejandra and Lucía. Fernando explained that they were religious, practicing a religion Bodhi hadn’t heard of. He said that the history of different religions fascinated them. This was what had brought them to Jedha: they wanted to visit the home of so much Jedi history, and the center of pilgrimage for so many different peoples.

Bodhi offered to give them a tour of the city, even though he had barely explored it himself. He hadn’t left the inn for days, afraid he would have another flashback and wouldn’t be able to find his way back. Traveling with the family though, Bodhi felt secure. Not only was there the safety of companions, but Bodhi found that the challenge of speaking Festian with a group, instead of only one person, occupied just enough of his mind that he could ignore the strange feeling he often felt in the New City: at home but not at home, adrift with the illusion of anchoring, and deeply, heart-breakingly lost.

Of course, the family wanted to see the New Temple, but Bodhi decided to build up to it. First, he brought them to memorial sites for the Old City and for those lost in the Great War. Then he brought them to the Great Market, making sure to pass by Rameen’s stall, and was pleased when Fernando bought something there for each member of the family.

After they left the Great Market, Bodhi brought them towards the New Temple. They passed a tea shop just outside it, and Bodhi paused. He thought of the tea seller by the Old Temple. The one his sister had loved. Had married. They had never had time to have children – Orson Krennic had taken care of that. Bodhi found himself with tears in his eyes, telling this family of those he had lost. The familiar smell of tea wafted out from the shop, teasing him. The tea was back, but his family would never return.

The Festian family made a circle with Bodhi and said a prayer for the ones he had lost. Although he could not share their faith, he felt touched, almost soothed, by their prayer. This was not the naïve-seeming faith of people repeating that everything would be alright, that everything was  _already_  alright. They were sharing in his grief with him, and offering him a comfort that was just beyond his grasp. He was grateful that they offered this comfort, even if he could not reach it.

Finally, Bodhi took them inside the Temple. It was busy both with construction and prayer. Bodhi showed the family the little altars scattered within the Temple, and prayer corners that people of all species were praying in. Then he spotted Cassian leaning against a wall, speaking with Franchesca. Bodhi felt simultaneously relieved and jealous. Relieved that Cassian had someone else to speak with, that he no longer relied so strongly on Bodhi to keep him going. Jealous that Franchesca seemed to be able to do for Cassian what Bodhi had not been able to do, that Cassian trusted her more than he did Bodhi, that she certainly saw more of Cassian than Bodhi did. But now was not the time for jealousy. Bodhi would surprise Cassian with this family from Fest, this piece of his history. Bodhi would be the one to bring a smile to Cassian’s face.

“Pardon, I see my partner,” Bodhi told them. “Please wait for me. I’ll take them here.”

“Bring,” Lucía corrected quietly, and her older sibling shushed her. But Bodhi was already walking away.

Franchesca noticed Bodhi before Cassian did, and she gave him a warm hug. Cassian hugged Bodhi too, but Bodhi found himself pulling away before Cassian could give him the accompanying kisses. Who was Cassian to use the traditional Jedhan greeting, rather than just kissing him on the lips like a normal boyfriend? Bodhi swallowed his frustration. He was happy to see Cassian, he reminded himself. He loved Cassian. He was going to make Cassian happy.

“Come here,” he said in Standard, unconsciously trying to shut Franchesca out, although she surely had picked up the language in all those years of occupation. “I want to introduce you to someone.”

Standard was a funny language. The same word, “you,” could be used for formal or informal relationships, for singular or plural. Cassian took Franchesca’s hand, leading her to follow Bodhi. Of course he assumed Bodhi was referring to the both of them. Why wouldn’t he assume so?

“Mi pareja,” Bodhi started, and immediately Margarita went to hug Franchesca.

“Un placer,” the Festiana said. “Me llamo Margarita. ¿Y tú?”

“I’m Franchesca,” Franchesca replied in Standard. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Festian. But Bodhi’s partner, Cassian,  _he_  is a native of Fest.”

Cassian stepped forward, but Margarita stepped back as though on instinct. She and Fernando looked at each other, and something Bodhi couldn’t read passed between them. The children’s eyes grew wide.

“Girls, let’s go see what’s on the other side of the Temple,” Margarita told them. And suddenly, the four of them walked away before they’d even greeted Cassian.

Bodhi stared at them uncomprehendingly. He’d been talking with them all morning, had shown them all around the New City, and suddenly, they had just turned around and left him. Had he done something wrong? Had Franchesca?

“What – what just happened?” Bodhi asked, as soon as he found his voice.

Franchesca shook her head. “I have no idea. Where did you meet this family?”

“I met them at the inn this morning. I had no one to eat with, and I heard them speaking Festian. I thought… I thought it would be nice to eat breakfast with someone else, for once.” Bodhi avoided Cassian’s eyes, knowing his anger was coming out in ways he couldn’t quite control. “Anyway, we walked around the New City all morning. They seemed eager to meet you, a fellow Festiana.”

“Festiano,” Cassian corrected, then bit his lip. “Sorry,” he murmured.

Bodhi raised his eyebrows. “I  _called_  you a Festiano, and they corrected me. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve spoken your language, and you’re starting to make mistakes.”

Cassian looked like he was going to argue, but Franchesca raised her eyebrows, and Cassian relaxed his face. “Maybe it’s a different dialect,” he conceded. “There are a lot of different dialects. Gael used to just say Festiane for everyone, regardless of gender.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway. You’ve. You’ve been alone? A lot?”

“What do you think, Cassian?” Bodhi struggled to keep his voice even. “You’re gone before I wake up, and you fall asleep practically as soon as you get home. Who do you think I talk to all day?”

“Rameen?” Cassian guessed. “People at the, the Center, what was it called again?”

“I haven’t left the inn since we went to the market together. Ever since I had that flashback, I’m afraid to go out alone.”

“I didn’t know,” Cassian whispered, looking at the floor.

“You didn’t ask,” Bodhi muttered. He sighed. “And I didn’t tell you. You’re just so tired when you get home, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You could have told me during the day. I would have taken a break…” Cassian paused. “But you couldn’t come here to tell me. Of course. I wondered why you didn’t take meals here anymore. I should have asked.” He offered Bodhi an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise I will. Tell me what you need, I’ll do anything for you.”

Bodhi shrugged. “It’s fine,” he lied. Cassian embraced him, and Bodhi endured it as long as he could. “Really, it’s fine,” he repeated, stepping out of Cassian’s hold. “I just want to know what happened with that family. Why they just left all of a sudden. Did I do something really offensive?”

“I don’t think so. I have to admit, it  _has_  been a long time since I’ve been back to Fest. I left when I was still a child, and my only contact with the culture was through Gael. But one person is not the same as being immersed in your culture, I’m sure there are things we both forgot.” Cassian squeezed Bodhi’s shoulder. “I’ll go ask them. I’ll explain to them you didn’t know you were doing something wrong. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Bodhi watched as Cassian approached Margarita and her family. He saw Margarita herd the two children away, saw Fernando say something and then follow his family to another part of the Temple. Cassian returned, his face hardened with anger.

“He said we should be ashamed,” he told Bodhi when he was close enough to be heard. “That we were sick. I – I think I know what he means. And it’s terrible.”

“What?” Bodhi asked.

Cassian avoided Bodhi’s eyes, as though reluctant to even tell him. “There are… there are people who think… you should be with someone who… looks like you.”

Bodhi raised his eyebrows.

“Who… has the same color skin. It’s stupid.”

“You mean because I’m darker than you?” Bodhi asked. “That’s not exactly a new concept to me. But I thought it was the Empire that invented that idiocy.”

“I guess even on Fest, some people chose to buy into it.” Cassian made his face blank, but Bodhi recognized the suppressed anger beneath his mask of neutrality. “I thought my people were better than that. I’m going back to talk with them. To convince them.” But Franchesca put a hand on his shoulder, and he didn’t move.

Bodhi knew he shouldn’t be jealous of her influence on him. Franchesca was helping Cassian, and anyone who helped Cassian was a friend of Bodhi’s. He just shook his head. “It doesn’t add up, though. They didn’t seem upset when they thought Franchesca was my partner, and I’m much lighter-skinned than she is.”

Cassian shrugged. “Maybe they just hadn’t had time to react yet.” He lay a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder, and Bodhi let him. “Forget them. They’re foolish, and it’s a lot of nonsense.”

“Sure,” Bodhi said, but he wasn’t satisfied. He noticed the older child, almost a woman really, had started drifting away from her family. Well, if Margarita and Fernando weren’t going to be straight with him, maybe Alejandra would be. He felt Cassian’s hand slip off him as he walked up to Alejandra, and asked why her family had left so suddenly.

“What you two do, it isn't… it isn't right,” she said, avoiding Bodhi’s eyes. “It's a <i>pecado</i>.”

“What does ‘pecado’ mean?” Bodhi asked.

“A <i>pecado</i> is… it's something incorrect. Something you shouldn't do.”

“Why not?”

“Because it isn't natural.”

“What do you mean, not natural? Is it because of the colors?”

“The colors? What are you talking about?” Alejandra seemed genuinely confused.

“It's not about skin color? So what is the problem?” It was Bodhi’s turn to be confused.

“You're both men,” she said. “It isn't natural.”

“Why? In your family there are two adults.” He paused. “Is it that we shouldn't be two humans?”

Alejandra shuddered. “Of course you should both be humans. But you shouldn't both be  _men_. You should be a man and a woman.”

“Why?”

“Because that is what's natural. Two men can't have children.”

“Many people can't have children. Old people, for example. Is it a <i>pecado</i> to be old?”

“No… it's not like that…” Alejandra glanced at her family, who was looking at the two of them. She bit her lip, and she avoided Bodhi’s eyes as she continued. “You two… it isn't natural. I'm sorry. Maybe it's an illness. I will pray for you. But you shouldn't be together.”

Bodhi felt his stomach clenching. Cassian was far from perfect, Bodhi would be the first to admit it. But who were they to tell him who he should love, especially using such a strange and hateful metric? He marched up to Margarita and Fernando, his eyes aglow with intensity.

“How dare you come here with this hate?" he whispered intensely. “This prejudice? This poison?” The family began to walk away, but Bodhi followed them, his voice rising. “Do you know what we have suffered here? What we have lost? We are here on sacred ground,  _beneath_  sacred ground, beneath the City that was destroyed by hate. I lost  _everyone_. My whole family. My friends, my classmates, strangers in the streets. Everyone. Each person, of us few who survived, has lost everyone. And we rebuild. On the ruins of what was destroyed, we rebuild the sacred. And you dare come here and contaminate our Temple with this poison? Leave. There is no place for hate here. Leave, and never return.”

“I'm sorry,” Alejandra whispered, but her parents pulled her and her sibling away, out of the Temple, out of Bodhi’s sight.

Bodhi was shaking. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to find Franchesca smiling down at him. Smiling? She couldn’t have understood what he’d said, but she must have heard his angry tone, and seen that they had left because of him. What could she possibly approve of?

“You defended something sacred, didn’t you?” she asked him. He nodded.

“He did.” Bodhi turned, and saw Cassian standing not far behind them, admiration clear on his face. “He defended this Temple. And he defended love.” Cassian took a step towards Bodhi, looking him in the eyes.“You never cease to amaze me, Bodhi,” he said in Festian. “Defender of the Faith.

“I don’t believe,” Bodhi replied irritably. “I just don’t think they need to come into my home and tell me who to love.”

“So you  _do_  still love me?” Cassian asked, his eyes narrowed as though he was determining the reliability of this information.

“If nothing else, I love you just to spite that hateful family.” Cassian huffed a laugh, but his face did not relax. Bodhi closed the gap between them and put a hand on Cassian’s arm. “Yes, I still love you. But you need to stop leaving me behind. You’re not the only one who’s hurting, you know.”

“I know,” Cassian said softly.

Bodhi sighed. “I just wanted to make you happy. I wanted to show you someone from your planet, like a piece of home.”

“That’s not the home I remember,” Cassian said with a frown. “I’ve never even heard of that prejudice before. It was never a problem for my aunts, or for Gael and me.”

“So it’s not a Festian thing?” Bodhi asked.

“No,” Cassian said emphatically. “I’ll show you. We’ll visit.”

“Sounds lovely, if you can find us some free flights. Your job doesn’t pay, Cassian. And I… I haven’t found a job yet.” He looked away. “I haven’t exactly been looking,” he admitted.

“We’ll figure something out,” Cassian said with determination. “If things aren’t working here, we can go back to Dantooine, with Jyn and Baze and Chirrut. Or somewhere else entirely.” Bodhi looked skeptical, and Cassian continued on, beginning to sound almost desperate. “Maybe… is there money for just one flight? Or I could borrow credits from someone, and work to pay them back.”

“One flight?”

“Maybe… maybe you’re better off without me.”

“Cassian, the whole problem has been how much you shut me out. I need you  _with_  me, not shoving me away. Anyway, I don’t think things would be that much better somewhere else. It’s not the place that makes things hard. It’s just that life is hard, and sometimes I still want to…” He fell silent. Cassian closed his eyes.

“I did this to you, didn’t I?”

“No offence, Cassian, but the galaxy doesn’t revolve around you. You’re not the only one who suffered in the war, who suffered  _before_  the war. Maybe hearing you talk so much about suicide didn’t help, but it’s not like I never thought about it before.”

“You should definitely be talking to someone.”

“I’m talking to you now. Or would you rather not listen?”

“I’ll listen, Bodhi. I’m here for you. But –  _and,_  you need more than just me. And I’ll help you find it, I swear I will.” He kissed Bodhi on the forehead, and this time, Bodhi did not pull away. “You're my hero, Bodhi Rook. Defender of Love, even when it's not deserved."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for any unintentional implication in the earlier version all LatinX people are homophobic. I meant the family to represent a small group of bigots, and I thoughtlessly did not consider the implications of having them also be the only representation of LatinXs other than Cassian in this fic. I am very sorry for the harm I caused, and I hope that the changes have made it clear that their bigotry has nothing to do with being LatinX. I also hope it is clear from Cassian, Franchesca, and other religious characters in this fic and in the Star Wars universe, that I am not implying their bigotry has anything to do with being religious. I am basing them more on fake-religious people, who claim to be following the dictates of their religion, but in fact are going against their religion’s very essence with their hatefulness.
> 
> I like to believe that meeting Bodhi has helped Alejandra reconsider the prejudice she has been raised with, and that she and Lucía are able to break out of it, possibly bringing their parents along with them.


End file.
